When the Answer is 'Not Yet'

If you have been following any of the Olympic trials lately, you have seen some elite athletes suffer some crushing injuries, events, and mishaps. I can only imagine their devastation of training for something so hard and for so long, only to have someone fall in their lane or be injured doing a flip they've done a thousand times before. At times, life unfolds in ways that are out of our control. We often pour everything we have into training, being a team player, and going the extra mile in order to reach a goal we have for ourselves. We want the gold medal. The gold medal, or gold standard, is something different for everyone. Maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a job, maybe it's a house in a certain neighborhood or sports car, or maybe it is just be respected and seen as having strong integrity. Everyone has a different view of what the gold standard is in their life. The process of reaching that gold standard is often marred by setbacks, failures and challenges. The key is how you get back up and keep running your race.

You may hear people say it a lot, I'm praying for God's will. Maybe you use this phrase yourself when you're working towards a goal, seeking purpose in your life, or facing life circumstances that are out of your control. It could be a health ailment, a career change, a new home purchase, or any of the other hundreds of ways we find ourselves praying for God's will, but really hoping He answers our prayers by giving us what we're praying so desperately for. God, you know this is really the best for us, so just make this happen this way that we want and we'll all be good.... you know how those prayers go. What happens when the situation that we so confidently asked the Creator of the Universe to take care of for us, doesn't turn out the way we envisioned? What happens when we feel the sting of defeat, rejection, failure, embarrassment...need I go on? Here is my personal experience.

First, sit with your feelings for a day. One day. The disappointment, the frustration, the anger, the sadness. Maybe you feel crushed in spirit, like you're not good enough or embarrassed for putting yourself out there. All of these are normal, human feelings that come with the denial of something we really want for ourselves. Human feelings are of the flesh. It’s okay to feel all the feels, just don't let your negative feelings take over your actions and words.

Now, after you've wallowed in all the emotions for a day, it's time to give yourself a pep talk and change your perspective. It may go something like this....

First, remember that God is still God, and He is always working on your behalf. Go to the Word and read the Truth about how much you are loved and chosen.

Then, remember what you asked for. You asked for God's will to be done. Maybe you were more specific and asked Him to keep you from any situation, or person, who is not of Him and for Him. When we pray, we have to buckle up because He will answer and it will not always be, Yes. If you are feeling the sting of rejection, remember that this is in no way a reflection of your ability or worth. The opinions of others do not and will not ever change your value. If you are feeling like a failure, remember that all the ways the disciples were viewed as failures by society's standards but Jesus saw more. You are more than any perceived failure.

Next, recognize and write down all the good that is already happening in your life. Reflect on what God is already working on and guiding you towards...maybe you even had an inkling that this 'not yet' answer was going to come because something told you that He didn't want you to be distracted from the bigger picture, your bigger purpose. It would always be easier to accept any rejection of our desires if we could see the future, or what was coming that we may be saved from experiencing, but that's not how faith works. Faith says, I trust you even when I can't see where this path is going.

One last thing to do as you process this struggle...praise Him. Crank up the tunes and belt out the cries of your heart. How is our praise different when we are getting what we want, our heart's desire, compared to when we are confused, angry, and struggling to accept what life has brought us? Worshiping when our hearts hurt, when life is not going how we would like, when we're grieving, when life is heavy...the list could go on and on with the number of ways the enemy will try to take our desire to worship from us. Oh, yeah, never underestimate the enemy's ability to attack you when you're down. The second guessing, the questioning, the blame game... so many ways. Be watchful and mindful.

It takes time to overcome emotions from setbacks. You will have to continually give yourself this pep talk for awhile. Surround yourself with people who will be encouraging during this time. Not everyone wants to see you succeed, and it's okay to take their seat away from your table…that’s a whole blog post of itself.

In all things and all ways, the gold standard is Jesus. Sit at His feet, pray, speak Truth over your life and negative emotions, and get ready for what He's about to do because it will be bigger and better than anything you could ask for... stay faithful, friends.