Parenting Through the Stumbles

When my boys were young, I remember believing that I needed to be home with them for the first five years of their lives, at the very least, because all the research said that was the years that would shape them into who they would become. I now say, that is not when they needed me the most. Having our oldest two on the tail end of their teenage years, I can say without a doubt that it is the teen years that our kids needs us the most. They need room to grow and develop, but the they need boundaries, and our watchful eye, and understanding guidance.

The teen years are fun years of navigating relationships, developing their personal view of their own self and the world around them, and experiencing so many firsts...it's an exciting time. It's also a scary and lonely time for a lot of parents because kids are not perfect. When the cuteness wears off of their young years and the serious stuff hits, parents scatter, friends scatter, and no one wants to be real. Instead, parents will gossip and judge how "good" their kid is doing at life based on how "bad" other kids are doing. Even more so, they will judge how good they are doing as parents based on how much they see other kids struggling. If my kid isn't doing "bad" things then I'm a good parent. I know some "good" kids who have said really mean things to other kids. I've seen "good" kids who wouldn't raise a finger to help another person. I've seen kids struggle who have great parents. I say all of this to say...Run YOUR race, parents. Focus on parenting YOUR kids. God made you their parent because He knew they would NEED you. As teenagers, they will need you. As adults, they will need you. There are many ways they will need you, even when they think they don't, but most of all they need you to point them to Jesus. Write scripture on sticky notes and post them on their bedroom door or bathroom mirror, watch faith based movies and/or tv series together and have discussions (The Chosen has been so fun to watch together.), do family Bible studies on the Bible app, send them podcast to listen to while they're working out or just chillin'....any little thing to remind them daily that God is sovereign in their lives, will never leave them, and will never stop loving them. Their faith will grow when you are active in providing ways for them to see Jesus each day...but beware.

When their faith grows deeper, be on guard for them because the enemy will be lurking and will come after them full throttle. We are experiencing this. We've seen one of our sons making his faith his own. We've see him have a desire for more Jesus in his days, having conversations with his friends about their faith and encouraging them to join him at church, and them coming! It has been exciting to see. He loves Jesus...but he is not perfect, this I know, and he now has a court date because of a bad choice. He gave in to a temptation. He will be judged. We will be judged... but I Matthew 7:3-5 that judgement...Check the plank in your eye! When parenting in the tough times, stay focused on what matters and that is your child, given to you by God, covered by His goodness and grace. Do what is best for them regardless of what anyone else may think or say. We know the truth, we know our son's heart, we see the seeds growing and roots deepening...and we will focus on that, and continue to water those seeds. Ultimately, his public stumble is seen by God in the same way as the private stumbles that we all have every.single.day. However, God overcomes our fumbles and stumbles. We are not defined by our failures, or perceived failures. We are defined by the grace and goodness of a loving God, who uses stumbles for His glory...I am declaring this now for my son and for any one reading this who has a child who is going through a stumble because we are all in this together.